Normally I like rollercoasters, however, not of the emotional and physical kind. I just feel like everything has been so up and down for so long that I'm just ready for some more ups rather than more downs. I think I have just been anxious about delivering and really hate waiting. I'm not a fan of surprises and have a really hard time when I feel like things are out of my control. I know babies come on their own time but it's still stressful at this point thinking it could literally be any day and I need to be prepared but it's hard to be prepared for something you can't predict or be prepared when you don't really know what exactly to prepare for.
I did get some good news on Friday. My doctor last week had said that she didn't feel there was a medical reason to perform cervical exams unless I was showing signs of potenial labor or preeclampsia, etc. but on Wednesday I started feeling nauseous out of nowhere and sometimes that can be a sign of early labor. So I had her check me on Friday. Turns out I was 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced or thinned out and she was surprised, but good surprised. She complimented me on the hard work I had done so far (thanks? didn't know I had been doing anything!) and that because I was progressing so nicely, my actual labor was probably going to be "easier" in the loosest sense of the word, since childbirth isn't ever easy, but it should go smoother and probably not last as long because I was progressing well. So that was exciting and she said that she wouldn't be surprised to see me within the next week, so we'll see.
Then Saturday. I was just irritable and not in the best mood and then of course Gonzaga lost. Just an overall bad day and I just felt and acted negative-I don't like that. It's not like anything had changed overnight, I was just in a bad mood. But that's what I mean about the ups and downs. I just feel like I have more downs. I also realized that I will most likely not be able to play tennis until the fall. I mean potentially if I have the baby like today, I might be able to play spring adult league, but even then that's pushing it as it starts April 15. I could play tennis over the summer-there are leagues available, but they don't count towards your record and personally I don't feel like paying money for a league where the competition isn't as good since everyone plays up and everyone is more playing to have fun. I like having fun when I play, but I find being more competitive as fun. So that was disappointing especially since I have been looking forward to it for a long time. It's just been hard to find things that I enjoy because I like being so active but pregnancy has really hindered that. I know I'll be busy with the baby but I also need something to keep me sane.
After the game, a very frustrating and emotional game to say the least (I had burnt the heck out of the bottom of a pot that morning and cleaning it out was Brett's way of dealing with the loss), I started having some pretty intense back pain that felt a lot like menstrual cramps. I had kind of a big wave of pain and then it diminished, but didn't really go away throughout the night as I kept waking up. I think the longest stretch of sleep I got was maybe an hour and a half? Around 1:30 I started looking into whether I was going into labor or not. I wasn't having any significant contractions that I could distinguish, but my back was hurting and I was getting twinges of pain in my abdomen but nothing consistent. It looked like I was having a mix of false labor and true labor symptoms so that was inconclusive and I continued to sleep restlessly throughout the night. Around 6 or so, after being up every hour, give or take, I typed in "not sure if I'm having contractions, just bad back pain" and came up with a forum of a few moms who had experienced the same thing. They had just had back labor with no real sign of contractions and that the lady with the same question as me should call her doctor. So I should call my doctor, right? But of course it's Sunday so I'm not sure if anyone will be able to help me! It's about 8:00 now and I still have a dull pain in my back and feel either Finn moving or some sort of contraction- Braxton Hicks or regular, I just don't know. With how unknowing that I was dilating, I could very well be in labor and just not know it. Maybe I'm just really good at being pregnant?
Ugh so I am just so unsure. I am never a typically case of anything ever. All this being said, we're going to try and track what's going on but even then, everything is so sporadic. It's Palm Sunday and I'd like to try and get to church, it would probably be good to get up and walk around but I'm just so tired! I am tired of being patient and want him here!
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Saturday, March 16, 2013
"Homestretch"
I have heard the phrase, "You're in the homestretch" so many times in the last few weeks and "not too long now" "It could be any day!" yet the due date still feels like it is nowhere in sight. I guess that is mostly because there really is no definitive day that Finn could arrive so it's not like I can make a countdown chain until the big day. I felt like things were going so fast from week 22 through about week 32 or so and then now it's just a lot of waiting and anticipation. Not that I am in a huge rush, but we're just really excited! And of course there are times like last night, for example, when he is pushing/kicking so hard that I have to stop what I am doing because it hurts so much so I'm ready for him to get out...Speaking of which, I had one little kindergartener say to me yesterday, in all seriousness, "You know, if you cut open your belly, your baby will dies." Me, "Well, I'm not planning on cutting my belly open so I think I'll be ok." Another kindergartener who had been listening, "Well then how does your baby get out?" Crap... um, "Secret tunnel? When you're older...talk to your parents. Ok go to lunch, bye." Smooth-handled that one with grace...Sometimes I'm prepared with better answers but not this time! Oh well, it made for a good laugh with some co-workers.
I have been feeling much better health-wise and sleeping better, though Katara wanted to play all night two nights ago so we ended up putting her in her crate. She hasn't spent a night in her crate for months and last night she was much better, still naughty (she likes scratching on the bathroom door if it's closed and if it's not, she leaps on the counter and knocks off whatever she feels like playing with/waking us up with-jerk). I have been having some lapses in memory or decision making. I was at leaving Target the other day and instead of being in the turn lane, like I though, I was in the lane to go the complete opposite direction. I still had an opportunity to get on a ramp and turn around, but I overshot and ended up a few miles down the road trying to find the next closest exit-that was neat. The nice thing about this whole memory loss thing is that I can't remember what else has happened that was similar. I was reading a few testimonials from new moms that were pretty funny recently that I'm sure will happen to me. There was one where a mom put her baby in the car and cried for an hour standing outside because she had locked the doors only to find that her keys had been in her pocket the whole time...
Everything is still going well with Finn. I tested negative for my Group B strep test (yay!). I am in my last month so I have doc appointments every week now which is actually kind of annoying. All she does is measure my belly, check is heart rate and ask if I have questions-which I usually don't. I mean, I'm not complaining that things are going so smoothly it's just that it takes longer for me to drive round trip and wait than my whole appointment.
Other things-I guess I'm special and will not get cravings :( too bad but probably a good thing? It takes me forever to put shoes on-Brett helped me with my boots the other day but otherwise it's about three minutes or so to tie my shoes. No real swelling, still wearing my ring, though some socks are a little tight. Very few stretch marks (super yay! Thanks cocoa butter!!). My chin acne, or chackne as I have lovingly dubbed it, has started to diminish. I didn't realize I've started waddling but Brett informed me I have been for awhile now... Sleeping ok as far pregnancy goes, I still have some sick symptoms that are waking me up from time to time, as is Katara. I was able to ride my bike today but it kinda hurt to sit so I think I'll be holding off on that until after the baby. I was complimented on how nice I look at school the other day and that I always look so put together as the lady said she was just miserable throughout her pregnancy and would never wear heels or boots 9 months in. I'm so happy and lucky this has been so easy.
That's pretty much it! 36w 5d today. Brett wanted to take some pictures in the park, we had fun :)
I have been feeling much better health-wise and sleeping better, though Katara wanted to play all night two nights ago so we ended up putting her in her crate. She hasn't spent a night in her crate for months and last night she was much better, still naughty (she likes scratching on the bathroom door if it's closed and if it's not, she leaps on the counter and knocks off whatever she feels like playing with/waking us up with-jerk). I have been having some lapses in memory or decision making. I was at leaving Target the other day and instead of being in the turn lane, like I though, I was in the lane to go the complete opposite direction. I still had an opportunity to get on a ramp and turn around, but I overshot and ended up a few miles down the road trying to find the next closest exit-that was neat. The nice thing about this whole memory loss thing is that I can't remember what else has happened that was similar. I was reading a few testimonials from new moms that were pretty funny recently that I'm sure will happen to me. There was one where a mom put her baby in the car and cried for an hour standing outside because she had locked the doors only to find that her keys had been in her pocket the whole time...
Everything is still going well with Finn. I tested negative for my Group B strep test (yay!). I am in my last month so I have doc appointments every week now which is actually kind of annoying. All she does is measure my belly, check is heart rate and ask if I have questions-which I usually don't. I mean, I'm not complaining that things are going so smoothly it's just that it takes longer for me to drive round trip and wait than my whole appointment.
Other things-I guess I'm special and will not get cravings :( too bad but probably a good thing? It takes me forever to put shoes on-Brett helped me with my boots the other day but otherwise it's about three minutes or so to tie my shoes. No real swelling, still wearing my ring, though some socks are a little tight. Very few stretch marks (super yay! Thanks cocoa butter!!). My chin acne, or chackne as I have lovingly dubbed it, has started to diminish. I didn't realize I've started waddling but Brett informed me I have been for awhile now... Sleeping ok as far pregnancy goes, I still have some sick symptoms that are waking me up from time to time, as is Katara. I was able to ride my bike today but it kinda hurt to sit so I think I'll be holding off on that until after the baby. I was complimented on how nice I look at school the other day and that I always look so put together as the lady said she was just miserable throughout her pregnancy and would never wear heels or boots 9 months in. I'm so happy and lucky this has been so easy.
That's pretty much it! 36w 5d today. Brett wanted to take some pictures in the park, we had fun :)
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| Brett wanted me to look over and be serious... |
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| He said, "Oh my gosh! That dog has [poop] coming out of it!" |
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| Clearly it helped me be serious... |
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| First signs of spring! |
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
35th week surprise
Ok, so I'm not having the baby today but this morning I though that might be a possibility.
I woke up, still feeling run down with a cold and exhausted after another very restless sleep. I was pretty hungry so I went to the kitchen thinking some cereal sounded good. Turns out it was a bad idea. Shortly after eating my bowl of cereal, I had some very intense abdominal pains and was feeling a little nauseous. This was a new feeling since I never got sick during pregnancy until now. I threw up for the first time after what seemed like forever (maybe 15 minutes) of pain and discomfort. I did not feel much better and was just not able to get comfortable. I had heated up a ton but now was freezing.
For some more time, I was just writhing around on the floor, trying to get comfortable but the pain was just so unbearable. Meanwhile, Katara had been kind of in and out of the bathroom and each time she'd come back in, her tail would be super bushy-obviously she knew something was wrong. I ended up throwing up again and finally got a hold of a nurse in my doctor's office. She suggested I go to labor and delivery just to be safe.
By now, about an hour or so after all this started, I was feeling a little better. I started feeling bad because Brett was already on his way home and now I was feeling better and maybe this was just a one time thing. We still went to the hospital and checked in. About 10 minutes or so after I had changed into my robe, I started feeling awful again-more pain and more throwing up. So fun.
I am hooked up to a monitor to keep track of Finn's heartbeat and to see if I was having contractions. Finn is all good and I may have had some contractions but probably just due to my stomach affecting my uterus. I am now hooked up to an IV and they also took some blood for a few tests. I have been feeling pretty well for a couple hours and Brett went back to work. I'm just hanging out having some jello and saltines (I was starving) and just waiting on my results.
Needless to say, this was pretty scary, mostly the pain and nausea but I'm so glad we came to the hospital. Kind of bummed we are not coming back with a baby but I guess this is a good practice run?!
Ok-update from about an hour and a half ago: all bloodwork looks great, I am getting a prescription for nausea and just need to make sure I'm hydrated. The baby is not affected and luckily it wasn't anything crazy-definitely glad we came in. AND we get our mattress today so that's a nice little reward after this fiasco! And thanks to Laura for picking me up at the hospital :-)
I woke up, still feeling run down with a cold and exhausted after another very restless sleep. I was pretty hungry so I went to the kitchen thinking some cereal sounded good. Turns out it was a bad idea. Shortly after eating my bowl of cereal, I had some very intense abdominal pains and was feeling a little nauseous. This was a new feeling since I never got sick during pregnancy until now. I threw up for the first time after what seemed like forever (maybe 15 minutes) of pain and discomfort. I did not feel much better and was just not able to get comfortable. I had heated up a ton but now was freezing.
For some more time, I was just writhing around on the floor, trying to get comfortable but the pain was just so unbearable. Meanwhile, Katara had been kind of in and out of the bathroom and each time she'd come back in, her tail would be super bushy-obviously she knew something was wrong. I ended up throwing up again and finally got a hold of a nurse in my doctor's office. She suggested I go to labor and delivery just to be safe.
By now, about an hour or so after all this started, I was feeling a little better. I started feeling bad because Brett was already on his way home and now I was feeling better and maybe this was just a one time thing. We still went to the hospital and checked in. About 10 minutes or so after I had changed into my robe, I started feeling awful again-more pain and more throwing up. So fun.
I am hooked up to a monitor to keep track of Finn's heartbeat and to see if I was having contractions. Finn is all good and I may have had some contractions but probably just due to my stomach affecting my uterus. I am now hooked up to an IV and they also took some blood for a few tests. I have been feeling pretty well for a couple hours and Brett went back to work. I'm just hanging out having some jello and saltines (I was starving) and just waiting on my results.
Needless to say, this was pretty scary, mostly the pain and nausea but I'm so glad we came to the hospital. Kind of bummed we are not coming back with a baby but I guess this is a good practice run?!
Ok-update from about an hour and a half ago: all bloodwork looks great, I am getting a prescription for nausea and just need to make sure I'm hydrated. The baby is not affected and luckily it wasn't anything crazy-definitely glad we came in. AND we get our mattress today so that's a nice little reward after this fiasco! And thanks to Laura for picking me up at the hospital :-)
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| Changing into this robe made it really hard not to get our hopes up that Finn was coming! |
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| Smiling because I feel alright at this point. |
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| Nope, not feeling so great now. |
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| Resting and watching Finn's happy little heartbeats while I await my IV. |
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| After my IV is in, I try to keep down some snacks. Oh and those are my barf bags-just in case :) |
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Welcome to March and let the Madness begin!
I have been excited for March since I found out I was pregnant. What better way to direct my energy and anxiety toward watching a ton of basketball? And with Gonzaga at #2 (rumors of jumping to #1) this might be the best March Madness ever!
Aside from basketball madness, there is also our own baby madness. With Finn's arrival just around the corner, we are getting more and more excited everyday and trying to make sure we are ready to go. We're probably going to put his carseat in my car at some point this week, I'm starting to think about what to bring to the hospital, and have started putting some necessities in the diaper bag. So far, everything baby-related has been so easy. He's just such a healthy chap! At our last ultrasound, he weighed about 7 pounds. Yes, at 34 1/2 weeks, he was already hovering right around 7 pounds. I was 7lbs 4oz when I was born and Brett was 7lbs 3oz...That was supposed to be my last one, but because he's so big, they want me back in three weeks to monitor his weight. Either he had a really gnarly growth spurt (up from 4lbs 2oz in a month) or he really is on track to be 9 or 10 pounds. Brett asked the technician if the first babies are normally smaller. She answered yes and my response was, "Oh, great..." To which the technician replied, "You're just good at growing babies!" But if my first is supposed to be the "smallest" I'm in for a real treat later. Oh well, I'm ok with a big baby if they're as healthy and easy as this one has been! But yeah, needless to say, the kicks and hiccups have quite a significant amount of force to them at this point. I don't know how he has as much room to move around as much as he does-I can only imagine how wiggly he is going to be come diaper changing time...
While everything baby-wise has been going very smoothly, I can't say the same for everything else. February was a super challenging month with illness, drama with Brett's school, and lack of sleep. I was really excited last weekend with the sleep I was getting. I woke up feeling rested two days in a row for the first time in a long time. But then that all went quickly downhill starting with the crashing and shattering of our wall mirror in the middle of the night which led to me staying awake for about two hours stressing about the baby. And then of course the emails from a student that some of you heard about on facebook that was extremely trying and gave me nightmares. Now, I am sick again, for the third time in about a month. I went to the doctor yesterday and some of you know how much I really despise doctors. The strep test they gave me was one of the worst experiences ever. I have a very sensitive gag reflex so the nurse suggested lying down. I had never heard of that idea before so I decided to try it even though I was thinking my tongue might go back in my throat thus making me gag even more. I was right. I totally threw up on my nurse and she still wouldn't take the damn stick out of my mouth ("Sorry! Sorry!" was her response) so I shoved her hand away and sat up to go to the sink. I was so mad. Then my doctor came back, not strep, and started recommending over the counter meds that I could take. When she was finished I asked why she was recommending all meds for congestion and sinus problems when my main issue was my tonsils (it felt like I was swallowing knives). She suggested some cough drops after using her IPHONE to check and see if chloraseptic was ok for pregnant women (it's not). Seriously? I could have checked on my phone to see that too. So glad I'm paying you for this. Whatever. Being sick and pregnant is so frustrating especially since I have had whatever this is for so long and just can't do a lot to get rid of it. So I am forcing myself to just stay put and do nothing all weekend which means turning down a birthday party I was excited for, tennis practice, dinner with friends, and you know, having fun in general.
I am hoping that despite missing out on fun things, I will be able to get better so as to be healthy for Finn's birth. But what confuses me is that I have been taking vitamins, eating really well, getting some exercise here and there, not really pushing myself, yet I am still getting sick. Yes, I do work in a kindergarten and I know that can definitely contribute, but I have been working in schools since November and haven't been sick since October until now. It's just draining to have to deal with all of these things at once. It would be one thing if I were sick and pregnant, or pregnant and not getting sleep, or receiving harrassing emails and not sleeping well but it's all of these rolled up into one very stressful month.
Don't get me wrong, we have had some very positive things come our way and we try to recognize those when we can, but they are very easily overshadowed by the other stressors. We should be getting our new mattress this week (yay! no more squeaking!), I have started working towards my teacher's certification, our apartment is great, Katara brings us both so much company and happiness, and spring break is three weeks away!
Being as large as he his, if he continues to keep growing at such a rapid rate, there is a chance they will have to induce me a little earlier, which means I could have a baby in three weeks or so... Speaking of which, here are the predictions I received!! (Those of you that guessed after April 15th are silly... I certainly hope he doesn't stay in there that long!!) Actual due date is April 8, or NCAA Championship Day.
Aside from basketball madness, there is also our own baby madness. With Finn's arrival just around the corner, we are getting more and more excited everyday and trying to make sure we are ready to go. We're probably going to put his carseat in my car at some point this week, I'm starting to think about what to bring to the hospital, and have started putting some necessities in the diaper bag. So far, everything baby-related has been so easy. He's just such a healthy chap! At our last ultrasound, he weighed about 7 pounds. Yes, at 34 1/2 weeks, he was already hovering right around 7 pounds. I was 7lbs 4oz when I was born and Brett was 7lbs 3oz...That was supposed to be my last one, but because he's so big, they want me back in three weeks to monitor his weight. Either he had a really gnarly growth spurt (up from 4lbs 2oz in a month) or he really is on track to be 9 or 10 pounds. Brett asked the technician if the first babies are normally smaller. She answered yes and my response was, "Oh, great..." To which the technician replied, "You're just good at growing babies!" But if my first is supposed to be the "smallest" I'm in for a real treat later. Oh well, I'm ok with a big baby if they're as healthy and easy as this one has been! But yeah, needless to say, the kicks and hiccups have quite a significant amount of force to them at this point. I don't know how he has as much room to move around as much as he does-I can only imagine how wiggly he is going to be come diaper changing time...
While everything baby-wise has been going very smoothly, I can't say the same for everything else. February was a super challenging month with illness, drama with Brett's school, and lack of sleep. I was really excited last weekend with the sleep I was getting. I woke up feeling rested two days in a row for the first time in a long time. But then that all went quickly downhill starting with the crashing and shattering of our wall mirror in the middle of the night which led to me staying awake for about two hours stressing about the baby. And then of course the emails from a student that some of you heard about on facebook that was extremely trying and gave me nightmares. Now, I am sick again, for the third time in about a month. I went to the doctor yesterday and some of you know how much I really despise doctors. The strep test they gave me was one of the worst experiences ever. I have a very sensitive gag reflex so the nurse suggested lying down. I had never heard of that idea before so I decided to try it even though I was thinking my tongue might go back in my throat thus making me gag even more. I was right. I totally threw up on my nurse and she still wouldn't take the damn stick out of my mouth ("Sorry! Sorry!" was her response) so I shoved her hand away and sat up to go to the sink. I was so mad. Then my doctor came back, not strep, and started recommending over the counter meds that I could take. When she was finished I asked why she was recommending all meds for congestion and sinus problems when my main issue was my tonsils (it felt like I was swallowing knives). She suggested some cough drops after using her IPHONE to check and see if chloraseptic was ok for pregnant women (it's not). Seriously? I could have checked on my phone to see that too. So glad I'm paying you for this. Whatever. Being sick and pregnant is so frustrating especially since I have had whatever this is for so long and just can't do a lot to get rid of it. So I am forcing myself to just stay put and do nothing all weekend which means turning down a birthday party I was excited for, tennis practice, dinner with friends, and you know, having fun in general.
I am hoping that despite missing out on fun things, I will be able to get better so as to be healthy for Finn's birth. But what confuses me is that I have been taking vitamins, eating really well, getting some exercise here and there, not really pushing myself, yet I am still getting sick. Yes, I do work in a kindergarten and I know that can definitely contribute, but I have been working in schools since November and haven't been sick since October until now. It's just draining to have to deal with all of these things at once. It would be one thing if I were sick and pregnant, or pregnant and not getting sleep, or receiving harrassing emails and not sleeping well but it's all of these rolled up into one very stressful month.
Don't get me wrong, we have had some very positive things come our way and we try to recognize those when we can, but they are very easily overshadowed by the other stressors. We should be getting our new mattress this week (yay! no more squeaking!), I have started working towards my teacher's certification, our apartment is great, Katara brings us both so much company and happiness, and spring break is three weeks away!
Being as large as he his, if he continues to keep growing at such a rapid rate, there is a chance they will have to induce me a little earlier, which means I could have a baby in three weeks or so... Speaking of which, here are the predictions I received!! (Those of you that guessed after April 15th are silly... I certainly hope he doesn't stay in there that long!!) Actual due date is April 8, or NCAA Championship Day.
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